Sunday, September 6, 2009

Goodbye Sweetheart!

It is bittersweet to post the news that on September 4, 2009 at 7:15 pm, Sheryl was set free from her battle with breast cancer. She did not die, but peacefully transitioned to her Heavenly Father as I held her hand, prayed with her, kissed her and soothed her. She is the most courageous person I know and through her entire fight, she never lost sight of her sons, me, her friends and family, and what mattered most. As we celebrate her life there are 5 things I want to share with you.

First, her humor was infectious. She made everything easier to handle because she had a gift of lightening the load. Second, her courage was amazing. Up until two weeks prior to her passing, she was still staring down death, doing chemo, going to the ER and making choices. Just last week she looked at the Hospice Director and said, "get me out of here. If I'm going to die, I'm doing it at home with my husband and sons." Third, her love for her boys, me and her friends and family was unconditional. Just one week ago, she spent an hour with me and the boys and without question, let all three of us know how much she loved us, and while sitting with her, and in no uncertain terms, she told Jon and Matt that she is most proud of them when it comes to looking at her life's accomplishments. Fourth, her generosity was contagious. Her life was largely defined by her unselfishness. She was a giver and not a taker. And last was her faith - she counted on the Lord to give her strength and to take her home. Her signature verse during her battle is from the Old Testament book of Isaiah, Chapter 40, verse 31, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and will not faint."

Having her gone from our presence is excruciatingly difficult. We miss her every second. But knowing she is pain free and smiling down on her family and friends should bring us all some joy, and certainly an appreciation for an unbelievable woman who fought hard and gave it everything she could.

Sheryl - we love you immensely and look forward to seeing you again someday.

With deepest gratitude and a million memories - your husband, Todd.

48 comments:

Unknown said...

Todd...in my everyday encounters, I have never met a person who fought as Sheryl did. Almost one year ago I helped her transition to hospice but only a short time later she realized she needed to fight this "thing" called cancer. I tell people how courageous she was. Not many people choose to endure the treatments she chose to endure. I tell people that she had many more bad days than good days, but she had "more" days to spend with those close to her. She will forever be my inspiration for fearlessness, determination and a love for life. I'll always love her and will never forget her. What an incredible woman we were all blessed to have in our lives.

Unknown said...

Dear Todd, Jon and Matt,
With deep sadness I am reading your lines that your beloved wife and mother has passed on to our Lord. Sheryl will forever live in our hearts. She was and is truly an inspiration to us with her courage, strength, sweetness, love and generosity. We feel blessed to have known her and will miss her terribly. We will cherish our memories of her and try to take solace in the knowledge that she has found peace and release from all pain in the loving arms of our Father.
Todd, our deepest sympathies are with you and your sons at this most difficult time. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers
With all our love,
the Sundaresan family

Michael McCafferty said...

Gods Grace!

Heaven is brighter now that Sheryl is walking with God, but that doesn’t take away the tremendous sadness and loss that we feel now.
Her strength, wisdom, compassion and heavenly smiles will stay with me forever.

Todd, Jon and Matt, my heart goes out to you in this most difficult time.

God’s best,
Michael

Marta said...

My Faith, Hope and Love are with you. Marta

Keitha Giannella said...

Todd:
Sheryl's smile will live with me forever. My prayers continue to be with you and the boys.
All my love,
Keitha

Bill Hart said...

As a coach, one of the things I deal with daily is the process of Life Planning. Our LEGACY is essentially the footprints we leave behind. Sheryl's are deep... profound... significant. She touched all she knew, encouraged those that needed it and left the world a better place because she was in it. I'm proud to have known her and am a better man because of it.

I challenge all who read these words to not just feel badly for Sheryl's untimely passing, but to be challenged to do something differently as a result of her passing. Use her light to spur you on to be a better spouse, son, daughter, sister, brother, parent... person. Starting today!

Tom said...

To the Duncan Family. We have never met, I only know you professionally and a little through Bill Hart. I am very sorry for your loss. Sheryl must have been a very special person.

Lori Emch said...

Thank you for your wonderful account of our friend Sheryl. I appreciate you telling us of her final hours and her grace. Lori :)

Annie Schwartz said...

Todd, Jon and Matt,

Anytime Sheryl walked into a room, she illuminated joy, life and love. Her expression of that joy was highlighted effortlessly to us and we always enjoyed our time with Sheryl. Kind, generous and beautiful. In the limited times that we had the pleasure of being with Sheryl, she was always full of life. Her expressions, her smile and her genuine enthusiasm was infectious and memorable. It's never easy to continue your journey in life without someone so important and loved in your life. Sheryl will always watch over you and walk with you continuously through life in ways you may not even know. And I can only imagine the gifts already bestowed on you for having such a beautiful, courageous and loving mother and wife, as Sheryl Duncan. Thank you Todd for sharing your thoughts and moments with us. You and your boys are in our thoughts and prayers and we send you strength and love during this difficult time. Robert and Annie Schwartz

LOANBEACH said...

To my Big brother Todd and his boys,Although i only met Sheryl once i can still see that smile and feel the warmth from her presence.All your memories of her will bring smiles to your face.
Respectfully Your Friend Rick Loveall

Kristen Emery said...

Dear Todd,

Over the last year, my prayers would often include Sheryl, and the men in her life. It appears that all of you helped her fight the good fight, with dignity and grace. You have made such a difference in my life, and I know that Sheryl contributed to that difference indirectly.

This song by Alan Jackson came out early this spring, and every time I heard it - I would think and pray for you, Sheryl and your loved ones. Not sure if this will work, but here is a link to the song - Sissy's Song:

http://www.theboot.com/2009/04/22/story-behind-the-song-sissys-song-alan-jackson/

Thank you for sharing the pictures, her beauty and spirit came through loud and clear.

I am going to take Bill Hart's challenge seriously to find a way to make a difference in some way.

Thank you for taking the time to letting us know.

Sincerely, Kristen

Unknown said...

Dear Todd...
I know it has been said before, but it's the truth. Sheryl could light up a room with her presence. Each of us who has shared in even a brief moment of her life is a better person for it.
I am certainly sad at hearing of her passing but I have to admit, my many memories of my own "Sheryl" moments involved much laughter between us. Sheryl shared life with us, encouraged my personal growth, provided a sounding board and always, always had a funny story to share. She will be sorely missed but I love knowing I was touched by her amazing energy and love. I promise to always carry that energy and love forward in her honor.
May you, Jon and Matt feel her warm embrace daily.

With love,
~Mare

tasiala said...

Todd and boys, my heart breaks for your loss of Sheryl. I only met her a couple of times on our trips but remember most her warmth and her smile. Both Steve and I have you in our thoughs and prayers. Terry and Steve Asiala

ritter said...

Todd, Jon & Matt - we've probably never met over the years, but I'm one of Sheryl's numerous cousins from Michigan (now in Houston). Sheryl's mom was my mother Marilyn's dearest sister. I met Sheryl a few times over the years at various weddings, funerals & reunions and recall her vivacious attitude & winning smile. Even from across the room, I could tell she was living life with the windows open.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, but I'm buoyed by the multitude of friends & family whom surrounded her during her battle, as evidenced by this blog. And please know that y'all are being supported by her extended family spread across the country. You are not alone.

I work at the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, and I see the daily toll this disease takes on us. Sheryl's life & legacy have inspired me to re-dedicate my efforts to help find a cure.

In deepest sympathy,
Jim Ritter

The Ross Group said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Ross Group said...

Todd, Mathew and Jonathon are in our kids prayers each night as they learn to move forward without Sheryl. You are in Heidi and I's prayers as you seek His plan for your lives. We are grateful to know you and benefit from your transparency in the realities of life. We love you. Todd and Heidi Ross

Jeramy Williams said...

Todd,
thank you for posting this. I have had the privelage of reading your books, attending Sales Mastery and sharing in a common bond of having the Lord Jesus Christ as our Savior. I'm praying for you during this time. Take care and I hope to hear from you and see you soon!

Jeramy Williams

Greg Teffertiller said...

Todd, never in these moments can words truly express feelings, yet your post seems to do very well. I am sad for you as I know you will miss your soulmate, but I rejoice with you as she is now healed and happy.

LaJolla is a beautiful place, but nothing can beat Heaven's suburbs :). We celebrate that God is bigger than we and all of our circumstances and prayerfully wish the Lord's peace be with you and the boys.

Unknown said...

Todd, Jon & Matt,
I'm so very touched with the wonderful and vibrant life of love that Sheryl has always shown us. Chords in me are moved by her spirit and joy. I so admire her strength and drive to live so well and she did! Such a beautiful woman outside and inside! No wonder she went to Heaven! What a lovely beauty spiritually. My hat is off to her. I have learned a great deal from her, and I am transformed by watching and knowing her. She has modeled how to live one's life rightly. I am struck and convicted by her dedication, determination, and success! Yay for Sheryl! Yay that her rewards for her faithful efforts are being given personally to her by the Lord Jesus Christ! Yay! Love and honor fill us by Sheryl. God bless you with His Presence and Love. We love you too. - Jack & Sue Monarch

The Ross Group said...

Praying for you and the boys tomorrow that His peace will get you through.

Unknown said...

The Bible says:

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Then Bart says:

And really, that's all that matters. May God continue to be glorified even through circumstances we don't understand or that we wish we could change!

And Todd, thanks for telling us (at HTSA Denver in 2003) how much you cherish your wife. What an awesome example of Biblical manhood you are! May God continue to use you and your experiences to draw people to himself!

Completely Coachable said...

Todd,

God is with you and your family. I know how much you love your Sheryl and she is cheering you and your boys on from up above.

Keep the faith, fight the good fight,

Mickey

Public Response said...

Todd, God Bless you and your family. I had lunch with a former co-worker/employee/friend last week and we were discussing goals and planning. He led me to the Duncan Group years ago and my connection with you. I realize I'd only applied some of the lessons I had learned from you. I helped my staff reach "business" goals, but not "life" goals. Shirley's life and your relationship with her are an example to me. Thank you for sharing your experiencee and love of God and family! God Bless...Chris Hoch

Unknown said...

I love you Mom.

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